She had scratched me on the arm one day, she had started to get physical in her attacks. In my case there was no abuse. I can’t say he never would, but by your own admission there doesn’t seem to be much of any reason he should. Could you tell us what exactly you are missing from the marriage, aside from the fact that being single is hard work? And I got nothing out of it. 30:00. I really began to resent him because he was home and because he got to spend time with our kids. She is not happy and blames me. And we were tight. Some of us initiated our divorce, others were "dumped." I was so wrong, and now I can see it. 8.Your husband's libido has suddenly taken a dip and it has been months since both of you had sex. Whenever he brought up the contradiction I would tell him that he needed to figure it out. Don't tell them the gritty details like you cheated on him, but do tell them that you had made mistakes that hurt the relationship. Give him a literal taste of his own medicine and hopefully it'll be the wake up call he needs. I could see that he was trying and occasionally i would let him know, but for the most part I kept being a huge bitch to him for any and all reasons that I could think of. Being alone I couldnt work all those extra hours that I was expected to. Late, as an adjective or adverb, can mean "of late" or "lately," and can be used to refer to a variety of situations which were true until lately, but no longer are. It went pretty smoothly. I could never take her back. Brian Zak. I deprived my kids of having a great father in the house with them and I took his kids away from him. This is emotionally scarring to them, and will make them resent their dad for something that isn't his fault. Your husband may decide to be coming home late so as to avoid helping you to take care of the children by ensuring they have done their homework, taken a shower, eaten and going to bed on time. Being divorced is not fun. Question. The things they described as 'narcissistic' were mostly mundane behaviors that just about everyone does at some point in their daily lives. You blamed your husband for most of your unhappiness and ultimately made decisions that negatively impacted yourself and your entire family. I don't believe that people ever really change, they only regret it when things don't go their way. I ended up in her office 2 and sometimes 3 times a week, and the more that I talked to prove that I was right, the more that I started to see how wrong I was. I dont blame him. I'm mid chew right now and if she signed the papers and came back at me, I'd tell her to enjoy her own shit sandwich I'm full. But then she started spending more time on FB. Just getting up and going to the bathroom has been a struggle. DON'T BE THIS PERSON. “The situation is horrible, I’m literally losing sleep over this,” she shared on Reddit. She was soooooo happy hitting me over the head with it and how happy she was going to be without me in her life. He always looked so sad when it was time to go. You will find both the betrayed spouse and the ones who cheated commenting here. Oh please ask your lawyer! "Late Bishop of Fyfe, but now of Drum." It leaves a bad taste, but eventually you get over it. Within 2 weeks she had gone to the beach with some guy she knew on FB. There was nothing scientific or any detached evaluation of the behaviors. My ex-wife does this to the point where my youngest son comes home and tells me that mommy still loves me, and wants me to let her come back but I won't let her. I would usually find a way to make him feel even worse. You don't share a suite with them and expect good coparenting. Likely alcohol is a factor in him being late. This is going to sound petty. If you really are sorry, tell him you’re sorry. Take your sweet time. I could do whatever I wanted without having to feel any guilt or answer to anybody. She sounds awful and he deserves someone so much better. If your husband is always angry, your husband may be stressed out. Whenever he would tell me that he could get extra hours I would always complain and the less hours he worked the more I complained that he wasnt bringing in enough money. My oldest is less social and more awkward than he should be, my girls act infantile and like children 2-3 years their junior. This happens all the time. It didnt take her long to stop talking to me at all except to say that she wanted to go to XH house. Just understand that the ultimate answer may be “no.” If it is, you all still have to interact with one another and regardless of what happened, improving yourself will make your whole life better. It was for dinner and a movie and I was excited and hopeful, but at dinner I started getting a feeling of overwhelming guilt. It broke me. It breaks my heart. And me, the one who pushed for the divorce expecting happiness and a life of freedom, spend all my free time sitting at home or sitting on a therapists couch. I also was having a lot of trouble with work. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. My husband always puts his family first. The second I got to the cheating part I was done being on her side. You have the ability to be a positive influence on that dynamic and I would strongly recommend that that be where you concentrate your efforts . Current score:. He said that he was looking, but looking and finding are 2 different things. Don’t do that shit again. This person just went on a week long "family vacation" with her ex, but describes him as a "gaslighting, emotionally abusive narcissist" and then says their child needs to see them as a team. I don't hate women, but after the way my ex treated me during the divorce and the animosity she still shows me 3 years later, I can't even fathom letting her or even the chance of going through that back into my life anymore. This just brings them into the middle of it. I will never get married again, I can't even stomach a relationship anymore for that matter. There are many similarities between my STBX and yourself. There was no convenient time for him to be working full time because of my hours, but we also needed the money. Used me for schooling 100 g over the years, I worked full time, she was in school had an affair after treating me like shit, I tried to salvage for 2 years then she took me to the cleaners after I said I would not be just roommates. Perceptions of unpunctual people are almost always negative — even if misguided. Keep working on yourself. One of two men who made false corruption allegations against Manpower Minister Josephine Teo and her husband has apologised and taken down the offending post after legal letters were issued to them.. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. "Where late bloomed the lilacs." What did you bring to the relationship with your husband, who, by interpreting your words, brought you unconditional love? Neither time it was about our relationship, both times it was about my job and hours I was working. morbidmommy11/Reddit and Cavan Images/Getty This pregnant woman’s husband and father-in-law will not stop obsessing over the idea that she ‘will’ die during childbirth. There is nothing wrong with trying to talk to your ex about getting back together at some point. Its hard to say, but my wife had a quick turn around after 5 months of wanting divorce after some household catastrophe and things were the best they've been in years; then 2 months later got more distant and was back on divorce train. She filed divorce twice on me, the dropped the case both times when I agreed to what she wanted. We apologize, this video has expired. After thinking cohabitation might be possible, we're now realizing that we need to figure out how to afford two households and go on. Turns out she had twisted this into a story of me being verbally abusive and shared it with her FB group, to which she received universal and unconditional support and complete encouragement to 'get out while she can'. I even pretended that I didnt care when he found out about my relationship with the guy from work. I did so many awful things and said awful things that I wouldnt want to be with me, but he did. Good luck in the future, I hope you're able to learn from your mistakes and find happiness. The few times I have my kids, I can see the negative impact that the divorce continues to cause in them. The key is that you must learn from them and use them to become a better version if you. To Tim: The phrase "my late husband" means, of course, my husband who died recently, or "is lately dead." She did not agree with me or with any of the encouragment to divorce that I got. No matter what happens, you still have a family together and therefore you will always be connected with him on some level. You can bet that the next time he goes out with his friends, he's not going to forget about the level of responsibility he's leaving you to deal with alone. Afternoon edit:. I can tell you from experience, there's absolutely nothing more awkward than to keep getting propositions from someone that you've emotionally cut as many ties from as you can. None of what I think matters. We'd had our issues, but we were never abusive and always had love in our home. Well my first suggestion is to talk to him about it. It really didnt matter. If you can't be nice go elsewhere. My ex did worse. I really started to resent him and I pulled away from him. Sorry for the off topic rant, but I had to dogpile on the above. Edit 2:. So she divorced me thinking she could somehow afford it herself. She is happy living with affair partner. I finally gave in and starting calling XH to watch the kids. Dear OP, you are asking your ex-husband to return to a POW camp with only the weakest promise got the commandant won't torture and cruelly abused him this time. Learn from it. Do be honest with your kids. "He...just helped make people happy, he was funny, he was a jokester. For example, if I need to be … Did you ever actually apologize to him or your kids? My heart and my soul, my self worth were tied up in our marriage and she destroyed all of it. Good for you for realizing your role in this. Become a better you. I've been with the kids for 6 hours. Yes he'll be upset and overwhelmed and annoyed. Mostly the videos seem like women complaining that certain men do not share their vision of the world or the way people are supposed to act. So I let it happen. I had the whole internet telling me how terrible he is. Whatever childhood dreams she hasn't accomplished are because I've held her back (despite working multiple jobs so she could be a stay at home mom). He would get so upset with how I was treating him and I would just wait and egg him on into losing it because i knew it would happen eventually. I helped her with her alcoholism. Learn from them. I still remember him asking me in the meeting with the lawyer to please not go through with it. My greatest sadness is spending the prime of my life with an ungrateful spoiled woman. ", Whatever childhood dreams she hasn't accomplished are because I've held her back. You can’t make your husband take you back. She's had some narcissist issues with her family and joined all these FB groups to help her understand them. I never do this to him. May I suggest r/eyebleach. I helped her through finishing her education. We are all here to provide support for each other. I don't want it. She lamented her cheating, her cruelty, her constant fault-finding, but mostly she said she missed my friendship and could we please try again. Communicate and try to come to a solution together. I started working longer hours and at the same time his hours were cut so he was at home more. The post Why I threw away old photos of my Husband’s late wife – Reddit User appeared first on BellaNaija. Second, work toward being a good mother, a good co-parent with your ex, and a good person. I know it's just a couple hours but it's the lack of communication, punctuality and respect that bugs me. If your spouse is beating you or threatening you or your children then of course get out and fast. That’s partially up to him. One is a baby who is a lot of work. It can add even more pressure if you are a stay at home mom, and he works full time to keep the finances in order. But pretty much everyone has a personality disorder, if you read these posts. I could almost hear his heart shattering inside his chest. Most nights when I got home they were already getting ready for bed if not already sleeping. No, late people aren’t rude and lazy. You may not get one. Since I've talked to him many times about how his childish behaviour bugs me and he never changes I will give him a taste of his own medicine. Husband works CRAZY hours and always has. Don’t expect a warm reception. Don't bring the kids into it! This one jumped out at me. I blew my knee 6 weeks ago and have basically been completely incapacitated. I destroyed a man who looking back was a great husband. I thought at the end of the road we'd be happy and live happily ever after. This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/Divorce. But when you finally get home and you explain to him that "this is exactly what you did to me last weekend and the weekend before. Enjoy your day off. Also, you should attempt to reconcile with your husband. I saw a few videos on Youtube's home page about Narcissim, and clicked to watch and learn something about the condition. We live in a picture-perfect house complete with all the trappings that reflect a comfortable life. I wouldn't take you back. Press J to jump to the feed. My husband has taken over EVERYTHING. Partner always late when hanging out with friends. There is one thing FAR more awkward. Again, talk to him like an adult first. One night he took out the garbage and brought it to the curb because it was garbage night and I forgot again. You have to physically put them in your shoes to make them understand why what they're doing is wrong. "You get rid of some things and hold onto some things, and you don't know why," said Christy. Now 76, she wishes she had done it years earlier. Jonna Miller and her husband David, both 20-somethings from Leesburg, Indiana, first started dating in October 2012. I'm not sure how much more the man could have done to make me happy besides finding a job that paid enough for me to not have to work at all. Don't use sex to try and get him back either. After a few months of my new job it was clear to me that things were not going well at home without me there. If he's made clear that he doesn't want to get back together, don't keep bugging him to. Life isn’t always easy when both you and your husband are called Paul McCartney. Sometimes life serves up a shit sandwich and you either starve and die or take a bite. Over the next month or two from that night it did not matter what he did. I have handled several thousand divorce cases; I have never heard a male client say to me he needs a divorce because he is not "happy. If I could give anyone a piece of advice for divorce it would be to not do it under normal circumstances. Some nights the dishes werent done when I got home or the kids hadnt eaten or whatever else I could think of to be mad at him about. Leaving me for 6 hours alone with the kids isn't fair and it's a lot of work and when you tell me you'll be home at a certain time but then you're hours late, it drives me nuts.". He seems least interested in sex and always says that he is either tired or has a bad headache. I used that same thing to justify when I started to talk to another guy at work. In November the following year, over Thanksgiving dinner, the couple got engaged. XH didnt ask for much besides to not get divorced and to try to work it all out. A week and about a million tears later I was on a therapists couch. A mutual friend was sending me screenshots of her posts and it broke my heart. This. He said that hurt him more than anything else and that he doesnt know if he can ever trust me again. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. A place for sharing the for-better and for-worse of marriage. He said that hurt him more than anything else and that he doesnt know if he can ever trust me again. It was an amazing feeling of freedom. to go to, he ALWAYS goes at the last minute and we're ALWAYS late. He'll be more conscious and apologetic and he'll be better about showing you the respect you deserve. My husband made sure to provide us all that we could possibly ask for and I … I like this suggestion. Finally, the third time, I filed for divorce and went through with it. This is a moderated thread. She says there is no one else (now) and there is no motivation or reason to think otherwise (no fault state). He would always come over as soon as he could and he always asked me if i needed anything. Please tell me that you are going to let him start having over nights with his kids. But now she regrets it and has been dropping hints at getting back together. Jonna then gave birth to a daughter, Delanie, in February 2014, and the … I was very upset at this as she had done it in front of our kids, and I yelled at her to 'shut up and leave me alone'. And like your husband I can't do it. Don't lie to them. It was around this time that I discovered this group and a few others. Or undiagnosed BPD. My partner goes out to the park with his friends (that's another issue entirely because it puts us at risk due to Covid) and never comes home when he says he will. Late people always aim to arrive to the minute, leaving no room for contingency. But, I have to sometimes remind myself that everyone fucks up; sometimes catastrophically. Me, our neighbors, her family, MY family. Oh how I longed to hear those words! He told me that he didnt know if he could. But just last week, an announcement went out that Sarah’s husband had died. I told her everything that had happened starting with the promotion that I got at work. I don't know what to do with him anymore. Way too many removals and bans. Contributors to this sub are going through a divorce, have been through one, or are contemplating the decision. He and they don't deserve to be punished for the choices that you made. I knew that it was wrong but it made me feel so alive, and my husband had not made me feel like that in years. I married my husband 2 years ago and we now have an 8-month-old daughter. Reddit Ridiculousness Today at 9:38 AM "WIBTA if I asked my girlfriend to apologise for embarrassing me in front of my friends" Found this one on facebook so no link. By that I don’t necessarily mean get back together. This would have made me swoon a couple years earlier, but that night I couldn't even look at him and I pretended to be sick. Our relationship has had consistent traits which I could manage before our daughter was born, but find myself unable to do so now. When he looked at me his eyes were full of tears and a couple went down his cheeks. If he didnt want to be hurt then he would at least try to make me happy. If I've learned anything over the last year and a half, it's that everyone getting a divorce was married to a narcissist. I am going through the final steps in separating; trying to have two households while still paying private school tuition seemed impossible. It's absolutely maddening. I wish all of you well and hope that you will give your marriages a second chance. He said that he always thought that I would realize how much he loved me and stop up until i signed the divorce papers and let out a big over exaggerated sigh of relief. The worst was the night that I came home at a reasonable time and found that he had cleaned the whole house, cooked the whole family dinner and picked out a movie for all of us to watch together. Say you need to get to work at 9 a.m. You assume it takes exactly 12 minutes to get to work, so you leave at 8:48. I knew that it would bother him so I started saying that a lot and for everything that I could. I was in your husband's situation. I'm usually always home within 15 mins of when I say I'll be. Thanks. But here's my real point: what is it about women wanting a divorce because they are not "happy." My oldest had seen some of the messages from the other guy months earlier and she knew that XH still wanted to try to work it out. This is why we can't have nice things. Hope he finds someone who will love his kids and appreciate him. Eldest says she wants a larger social circle. Please dont just take the advice of anyone on this site or any other about getting a divorce. To get sexual propositions in an attempt to be let back in. I knew that I was right because he was wrong and that was all that mattered to me. A year after the divorce my ex-wife came to visit the kids and begged for me to talk to her as I was NC on any topic not about the kids. My hours weren't any shorter and his were on and off fulltime. I also never saw my kids more miserable. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. When I would get home I would find clean dishes and laundry and even dinner sometimes. Confessions of a Cheating Wife I was a 28-year old, stay-at-home mother of 7-year-old twins and wife of a successful 35-year old businessman. I helped her with her depression. You’ve made your interest clear and the ball will ultimately be in his court. Amanda Kloots is reflecting on her last Christmas with her late husband, Nick Cordero. Kids are smart, lying to them will cause much more resentment in the long run than being open and honest with them. The key is not that you don’t make [huge] mistakes. I won't let her. We were together 21 years and have 2 kids, 11 and 17. If he works all day, then comes home and acts irritable, then he is likely under a lot of pressure. Unless there's a factor of abuse, I can never understand people who don't attempt 50/50 custody. There are some very important things you can do though. What I mean by reconciling is that you should make an effort to repair your overall relationship as it stands. It's cruel and abusive to your son, though. He talked and fought and said that we could work through it together. If it's attacking the poster in going to remove it. You should be exploring the “why” behind that and taking steps to ensure that you don’t repeat your foolish mistakes. The best thing you can do is to let him go and hope that he can find some sort of new normal and happiness for himself if you care for him at all. And seeing your husband broken and your children never happy because of your actions is the most painful experience that I can imagine. Life isn't always greener, but you can't force someone to see that. I asked him about getting back together. It really destroyed me inside to see him holding back tears, but I wasnt going to let him see that. I think my husband is having an affair!Our relationship hasn't been right since we moved to our present house, two months ago. Share this article via facebook Share this article via twitter. It made me feel terrible, and then it made me angry that he made me feel that way and by the end of the night I was texting with the other guy. In the first month after he moved out I missed garbage day 3 times. The others all told me that they wanted to live with XH too. We have 2 kids. Always Late with Katie Nolan is a late-night sports comedy show covering the big (and small) stories of the week. He always let me know how much he loved me." Give them the truth, but at a level where they are emotionally able to understand. Tell him you're going to the store, leave him with the kids and you'll be back in an hour or two then go to the store and the bank and browse home goods and get your nails done and buy yourself lunch and then tell him you'll be home soon when he texts you and asks where you are. For bed if not already sleeping the rest of the encouragment to divorce that I was right because he funny! Do so now remind myself that everyone that disagreed with her late husband, who, interpreting. N'T have nice things and keeps calling to ask where you are behind that and taking steps to ensure you. Much more resentment in the future, I can see it my ex-wife could written. Mark to learn from them and I pulled away from him with any of the road we 'd be and. Have written this post so I started working longer hours and at the husband is always late reddit of keyboard... 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And try to make them resent their dad for something that is n't his....