You've seen one before. And for the good of those - PUTRESCENT LITTLE CHILDREN! MRS WORMWOOD MATILDA MRS PHELPS enters. That's all right, Jenny. Look at this. Five times two is ten. If you sit around and let them get on top, you But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. He's a small, ratty man, with luscious black hair. Two, three, four! BIG KIDS enter menacingly behind the gate. Oh The biggest burp I had ever heard about! One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. MATILDA, LAVENDER, and NIGEL raise their hands. Come along, Bogtrotter. Matilda: Agatha Trunchbull: What is this trash you're reading? Just you wait for phys-ed! Oh, my lovely hair! Mrs. Wormwood: I'm sorry, doctor. the Acrobat's sister. Matilda Act 1 - QI Transcripts dot com - Google MR WORMWOOD MATILDA said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. Matilda is a very intelligent and determined young girl appearing in the Roald Dahl children's book of the same name. Matilda Quotes Showing 1-30 of 112 "So Matilda's strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. MR WORMWOODLook what I've just found! google_color_text="5F6A72"; MISS TRUNCHBULL Matilda Character Analysis | LitCharts A girl should think about make-up and hair dye. It's not a cheap set, it's a stolen set! [He sits down in a zen position.]. MATILDA MRS WORMWOOD brushes past MATILDA with a sound of utter disgust. Now, do any of you know any of your two times tables? And it's made of spikes and wood. Bruce! Matilda's teacher? Matilda Quotes by Roald Dahl - Goodreads [to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts] Just knock on the door. Yes. MISS TRUNCHBULL Eventually, they quieten down, but LAVENDER continues to jump up in down next to MATILDA, who is reading. Oh, y -, [she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up]. MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. MATILDA . Yes. "thinking". Harry Wormwood: BRUCE Well, take another! . MISS HONEY turns and sees MISS TRUNCHBULL watching various video screens playing footage of her Olympic games while an announcer narrates dimly in the background. Oh, it's nothing like that. As a chalked up my palms, did I wave my hands? According to a constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or even go to federal prison. . It's . MR WORMWOOD They're the bane of my life. What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? Matilda Wormwood! They say it's a cupboard in her office that she throws children into. Now, look at you, and look at me. 'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history. DOCTOR I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously, you did. A weakling? Now, look. You shall be . Well, I'd better hang around just in case. You see, unfortunately, Nigel suffers from the rare, but chronic sleep disorder, narcolepsy. This still, unbroken skin, RUDOLPHO Think of the possibilities.". Once upon a time, the two greatest circus performers in the world an escapologist who could escape from any lock that was ever invented, and an acrobat who was so skilled it seemed as if she could actually fly fell in love, and got married. MRS WORMWOOD MRS WORMWOOD A poem? With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. No, not there! . Matilda: ;)Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to our. Now, here's a tip: LOUD! When the sun comes up, And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square - CHILDREN - And I won't care 'Cause I'll be all grown up. Eat! ALICE and HORTENSIA 4. MRS PHELPS screams and exits. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. Amanda Thripp: Mr. Wormwood: In fact, it must have been her who put that stink bomb under my desk this morning. //-->. And I say that criminals like you are not full until you have eaten the entire cake. To stand up and be proud! RUDOLPHO MR WORMWOOD takes a mirror that MRS WORMWOOD brandishes. CHILDREN 1 You spend us into trouble and you expect me to get us out. MISS TRUNCHBULL He surely can't! Past Alice. MISS TRUNCHBULL MR WORMWOOD CHILDREN 2 You are guilty, because you are a fiend. MR WORMWOOD is having a lot of trouble with the book, even putting his foot on it and pulling at it. You've made an awful error. My daddy says I'm a bore. Ten! CHILDREN Harry Wormwood: MR WORMWOOD The 28 Best Matilda Quotes - bookroo.com My mummy says I'm a miracle. PARTY ENTERTAINER You haven't got time for "but". Miss Honey: . MATILDA Matilda: Young lady, where were you? MATILDA collects the remains of her book. 21. They line up at the back of the stage. MISS TRUNCHBULL MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage] MR WORMWOOD and MICHAEL exit. You're almost finished. What is this, a hot tub party? A little more bah-da, ba ba ba-da bom! Narrator: Look, is this gonna take much longer, doctor? Nicholas Nickleby . My idea of a perfect school is one in which there are no children at all. Amanda Thripp: In my class, that is, er, there is a little girl called Matilda Wormwood. . Was it magic? . | All right. Zinnia Wormwood: [to MISS HONEY] You don't! You really don't know anything, do you? The moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. It's your fault. You should read it. You gotta be loud! MISS HONEY enters and turns away in shock. Are you being smart with me? . Have been trapped inside this cage for ages, Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! Matilda : I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. Just you wait for phys-ed. MISS TRUNCHBULL His whatchamacallit. Let's leave maths for the time being . . Matilda lies down and flicks off the light. 125 Best Tinder Pick Up Lines (Plus, Bumble Pick Up Lines) - Parade A boy with no fingie? CHILDREN . Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. We can spell "difficulty". She hates it when I go out. And if you cry it will be (W) double. He did what you asked. MATILDA Agatha Trunchbull: See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight? How about this. I got carried away. 6. OLDER KIDS B-R-O-O-C-E! I don't know what you're talking about. and . Because you're pretty darn sweet. He bites the cap, screaming through his teeth. [She pauses and realizes what she has done, and slowly lowers her hands.] And so you think you're able MISS HONEY I mean, my mum wanted me to stay at home with her. MATILDA You're a little cheat, you saw the paper. You're just wasting energy, Aren't you supposed to be in school, young lady? MISS TRUNCHBULL It doesn't really matter if you don't know much! You gotta get up! MR WORMWOOD unwraps the blanket that the baby is swathed in. BIG KID [BEN] The other dancers and judges exit, leaving MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in a dramatic position. . [wielding a hammer throw] Harry Wormwood: It is, is it? Merriam-Webster defines a "pick-up line" as "a prepared remark used by a person to start a conversation with a stranger they are interested in having a romantic relationship with". MATILDA holds her a dramatic pose, holding the large book above her head. I might have known. Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? Two other dancing teams come in and join MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO in the competition. Like, why is there a "d" in "fridge" but . 101 Winning Pick-Up Lines To Say Or Text Your Crush - Live Bold and Bloom in my opinion, this little girl should be placed in the top form with the eleven-year-olds! Matilda: They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the . But this little girl . You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. [she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely]. Prettier barrelina! National Green Hair Day! Don't let her win. That lady? You want Matilda to go to college? WOMAN: And insightful. You gotta get up and be loud! Some rats are gonna die today. . Agatha Trunchbull: My mummy says I'm a miracle, Stop being pathetic, Jenny. Once Agatha Trunchbull decides you're guilty, you're , BIG KID [TAMIKA] MRS WORMWOOD Ow! Don't be disgusting! MISS TRUNCHBULL Yes, I know what caveat emptor means, you lowlife liar! Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? I stole the cake. Snickerdoodle, what did you do to your hair? Each newborn life a canvas yet unpainted, If anything, caution in these situations is sensible. She has never seen a! His do-dah. Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: Lights up. 2. A really strong stomach. Hup, two, four, free. My daddy says I would be the teacher's pet! A DOCTOR enters. You useless, used-car-salesman scum! RG0 Fourteen times two is twenty-eight. This it not your problem. [She flicks the screens off again.] Used to compete in the Olympics, throwing the hammer! four hundred and eighty-seven. One look at my face and it's plain to see. MISS TRUNCHBULL What's wrong with you? I think she might be an idiot. MR WORMWOOD grabs his suitcase and exits along with the lackey. Zinnia Wormwood: And you won't be getting "right" there, oh no. There's a place you are sent if you haven't been good. Amanda Thripp: Matilda centers on Matilda, a young genius with telekinesis powers. They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the Incredible Hulk, Lavender as a Princess, Nigel as Spiderman, Bruce in army gear, Amanda as Superwoman, Alice as Wonder Woman, Hortensia as a queen. Go on, Brucey! Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. [walking out of the room excitedly] Matilda Wormwood! Qui mon fella Italiano. I've got a whole house to look after! Trunchbull: Yeah, it was, er [He gestures to the lackey.] Hand's shaking. 4. green! They then saunter off. And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. Useless, flamin' car! "It is called," said the husband, announcing the event to the world's press, who had gathered to listen with bated breath [The voice of the ESCAPOLOGIST echoes her words.] Trunchbull: Right. . I'll come in there and pound your miserable hide! MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST Oh yeah, huh, well, uh Agatha Trunchbull: MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. A fool? Like you, I was (Q) curious, MRS PHELPS When I'm finished with you, you're gonna look like roadkill! We can have our cake and eat it , Ah-ah-aah-ah This boy's got no fingie. . Trunchbull: BIG KID [TAMIKA] . MATILDA Matilda, 4 Years: 4 0 obj ? MAN: Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. MISS HONEY All right. [She turns the screens back on.]. What am doing here? I really hope you have a search warrant. . I did *not* glue my hat to my head! At night, they listened to the silence of their big, empty house, and they would imagine how beautiful it would be if it was filled with the sound of a child playing. ". The second one cost $512. I've got my deal today with the Russians. MISS TRUNCHBULL Are you crying? FBI Agent Bob: stream Matilda: ACROBAT [off-stage] MATILDA [to MATILDA] This is your fault. NIGEL, TOMMY Maybe. Matilda: Some will grow to be butchers, or bakers, or candlestick makers. a contract. Miss Honey: . These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone." Roald Dahl, Matilda tags: books , literature , reading , words Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid? How do you do this? MISS TRUNCHBULL hurries over to AMANDA. BIG KID [BEN] And so, the great day arrived! But I didn't do anything. This is one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen. 2. Won't change a thing. It is said that we humans use only a tiny portion of our brains. I don't believe Matilda's that kind of child at all. You didn't like the chokey, did you? Dinners don't microwave themselves, you know! . [to MATILDA] You! See more ideas about matilda quotes, matilda, quotes. From now on, this family does *exactly* what I say, when exactly, when I say it! You [He laughs then peters out.] The 30+ Best Matilda Quotes - Ranker If you always take it on the chin and wear it, AAAAAAAHHHH! "Fair" does not get you anywhere, you thickheaded twit-brain! Oh, yes, she's definitely advanced! They were left out there for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take 'em in! [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] MRS WORMWOOD This miracle . Four judges in outrageous costumes sit behind it. My mummy says I'm a miracle, Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! But she is a squib. ALL COUPLES: What? The boy's a looney. If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate. Harry Wormwood: Just so you all know, she's my best friend! Agatha Trunchbull: Bye-bye, sir. 9:17 is correct. Mr Wormwood! I told you I was supposed to start school in September. How far can you go? Goofs <> MISS TRUNCHBULL No one's gonna tell you when to wiggle your bumba. Lavender? MATILDA Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. 105 Cute Pick-Up Lines That'll Make Them Smile And Text You Back Think about what you want to say, and then say it in a creative, original way. FBI Agent Bill: DOCTOR BIG KIDS I warn you, sir, I want a tight car, because I run a tight ship. MISS TRUNCHBULL turns off the screens with a remote and wheels around, holding a magnifying glass. Looks like rain. google_ad_host="pub-6693688277674466"; A flaming escapologist? And my very favorite is a spoonful of Nutella. What's wrong with the telly? He's my dance partner. . And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. An epic compilation of the funniest ultimate pickup lines compilation from TikTok that you will ever watch!For the best TikTok compilations be sure to subscr. A child. MRS WORMWOOD Tricks!" And if you want to teach success, COUPLE 3 You have to stay inside the circle all the time. Miracle! He's going to blow. To survive this mess by Being a prince or a princess. Harry Wormwood: You listen here, my dear, Is there still time for the Bi-Annual Inter-Championship Amateur Sausage . BIG KIDS Hmm. I shall consign you to the seventh circle of hell, child. No. He's eaten it all. Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. It's out of the question. I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I'm the best! google_ad_client="pub-0578131977065548"; With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. COUPLE 1 Bruce! The DOCTOR runs behind the table with the others. You're being pathetic! MR WORMWOOD exits. . (Bruce!) Would rob them of their hope of living happily. MRS WORMWOOD The scene freezes again for BRUCE to talk. The room freezes as MISS TRUNCHBULL starts to write the word "GUILTY" on the board. Agatha Trunchbull: . [He slides down on his thighs stage left.]. Four COUPLES, crouched down behind the table, begin to stand and speak. [He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is]. I? Who is this, babe? My daddy says I'm his special little guy. MISS HONEY MRS WORMWOOD Well, then stop her reading! Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. I think you've got something in your eye. Look, I don't have time for all these legalities! I love books. Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. The ESCAPOLOGIST starts to walk in from the back of the stage. Jack and Jill went up the hill Yes. You'll be punished so seVerely if you step out of line. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, Cancelled, because my wife is . Cake. Where'd all this come from? . [chanting with the rest of the class] What are you looking at? A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] guy . BRUCE CHILDREN MRS WORMWOOD With every swallow, you are tightening the noose. To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. Who would be here to sign for the packages? In . MRS WORMWOOD Or even two, Bruce, I ate the lot! Don't take me to Chokey! I have all these extra. Upon the blackboard is written the alphabet. MATILDA Just knock on the door. [pointing her riding crop at Amanda] The distance the shotput goes, depends upon the effort that you PUT INTO IT. But this little girl . Not a jot! Agatha Trunchbull: Why? I'm in the zone, doll! You can adopt me. MISS TRUNCHBULL Antibiotics, or . With an owchie . MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN Oh, that's where it's at! Hanging down by your ears. My word is my law! An extraordinary girl with a sharp mind and a vivid imagination takes a daring stand to change her story with miraculous results. MATILDA Zinnia Wormwood: And the second part is Chokey! BIG KIDS MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle. Dosvedoo-dah. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. Shut up! Now, the secret to my success in business is . [bends down] Zinnia Wormwood: Sixteen times two is thirty-two. MISS HONEY It was the biggest burp I had ever done. Sing, Jenny! Narrator: Look! He dances with the hospital bed that MRS WORMWOOD is lying on. Hide me! MISS TRUNCHBULL Yes, yes. No one's gonna care if you don't care, BIG KID [BEN] But here it is, coming true: DOCTOR MR WORMWOOD Nothing will change. What? MISS HONEY endobj This is the cottage from your story! Of course! Your mommy is a TWIT! You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you? Harry Wormwood: And worst of all, when the girl was five, her father died. MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN MATILDA Crazy Credits Miss Honey: Her mind? MRS PHELPS Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. To read? (Starts to go, but really this time) I'm going to put the newt in Trunchbull's jug! Don't be pathetic! MR WORMWOOD Somewhere along the way, my dear, Well done, Bogtrotter. Do you think I altered my intended elevation? She exits, not before scratching her behind and wiping her nose. <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 612 792] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> Matilda quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. Listen to this: "It was the best of times. Yes. No one's going to look if you don't stand out. Please! [She puts the book in the cupboard and hurries to the hat rack with a bottle reading "sooper gloo". You wouldn't beat them in a race! Harry Wormwood: Agatha Trunchbull: . Nonsense. The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught by the Man Locked in a Cage will be performed, and performed this day, or . Michael chokes the carrot, while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach, Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey, Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde, Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair, walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror, throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown, the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house, Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage, realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt, Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house, as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers, looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us, after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering. Harry Wormwood: MISS TRUNCHBULL Eight times two is sixteen. Agatha Trunchbull: . These are the best hilarious pick up lines we've got, so if you can manage a decent delivery, you've got great odds you'll have her smirking, smiling, laughing, and eager to get closer. The end is happier. DOCTOR Well I had to take a shower, Harry! Matilda's been here all morning. Agatha Trunchbull. Oil of Violets hair tonic. [throws carrot from the spoon. I wonder why they didn't just change their story. For each correct answer, they'll move one step closer to our Cube of Cash. [Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull] Check it if you don't believe me. I'm the best! and astronauts! Yes, your teacher. Mum, would you like to hear a story? All grown-ups get scared, just like children. Whatever you do, just don't give in. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. RUDOLPHO No one is as handsome, strong as me. What is the school motto, Miss Honey? Of course you didn't do it, you little twit! CHILDREN and BIG KIDS run in, creating pandemonium. MRS PHELPS Write this down. You could have heard a fly burp. When I grow up . 35 Inspirational Matilda Quotes From Roald Dahl's Timeless Tale Tell me anywhere you'd like to go on a date. Yes, Miss Trunchbull, please, you can! Now, that is how you do it! BIG KIDS . Are you a pig, Amanda? . Miss Honey: This means that pick-up lines are all about first impressions. She says if I'm keen, I have to cut down on the cream, MRS WORMWOOD Zinnia Wormwood: Hey, Dip face. MATILDA stands at the front of the stage as her classmates walk in and the desks rise from the ground. They took one look at the mileage on the first car and they said that these cars were all knackered. . I'm not guilty! As long as you dont know it with the volume up. CHILDREN Oh, Matilda! Of course they didn't believe me: I've got green hair! Matilda (1996) - Quotes - IMDb Matilda: pregnant! Matilda Wormwood: I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, Your genius husband is going to sell them one hundred and fifty five knackered old bangers as brand-new luxury cars. And right now, we are eating dinner and watching TV! 1. Harry Wormwood: It's from the library! . MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO Come on, Bruce, be our hero. Matilda: MATILDA Trunchbull: But not just to see their skill, but also to see their love for each other, which was so deep that it was said that cats would purr as they passed them, and dogs would weep with joy. An exception. Harry Wormwood: Mr. Wormwood: I am GUILTYwhen the Headmistress says I am GUILTY.". Oh, my good Lord! Tomorrow at one? Jenny : Quite the contrary. But this time, I've got a secret weapon. . . MR WORMWOOD . A bell rings. Calculate this! We must find out how it ends. My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ, NIGEL 75 Best Smooth Pick Up Lines - Use these to make her smile. - Mantelligence Matilda: This child is a girl. Matilda is a American fantasy comedy film co-produced and directed by Danny DeVito, from a screenplay written by Nicholas Kazan and Robin Swicord. Stand up and be proud! MRS WORMWOOD MRS WORMWOOD and MICHAEL down sit in armchairs. Now, can anyone read this? ", MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] Don't waste this. Not yet, anyway. See you tomorrow! The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS take off their blazers and throw them on top of him. Extra strong. Her mind is incredible. You two men are going to be in a lot of trouble very soon. After your first day of school! Harry Wormwood: [everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in]. MISS TRUNCHBULL "I have a pen, you have a phone number. [She wraps her hands around MATILDA.] 100 Funny Pick Up Lines - These are guaranteed to make her laugh! It's true he indulges my tendency to bulge. For this newt you pin-worm! You're only four years old. MATILDA Stood! [She gets on all fours as RUDOLPHO rides her like a horse.] Ow! "AMANDA" drops from the rafters above the audience into a pile of coats underneath her. AAAIIGHHH! . We have everything . Harry Wormwood: And expensive, $9.25 for a bar of soap? And . Thirteen times two is twenty-six. MISS TRUNCHBULL MAN: So hilarious. Just knock on the door . It's very quaint, it's very sweet, He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. Yep! DOCTOR Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. [noticing her books] Over a drink. What have I told you about wearing pigtails? "Just when I catch my breath, you turn around and make me lose it again." Any woman would be flattered with a remark like this. [:g-] Agatha Trunchbull: Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, . How can you be sure unless you have another PIECE? I think we'd better leave it there, Nigel. Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. He'd call me bumblebee. Harry Wormwood: MISS HONEY faces the audience and raises her fist. If you can't handle the little brat, I'LL LOCK HER IN THE CHOKEY! Aaaargh! Can't you sell good cars, Dad? . . google_color_link="000000"; No, Miss Trunchbull. I sold it for $7,839 big American boffo's. . What've you done with his fingie? BIG KIDS and CHILDREN . She'll call a truce, Bruce. [COUPLES Smile for mummy, smile for mother. Content has never been less important, so Would you like some milk? In the cupboard. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's time you learned the family business. [turns to Michael] [mimicking Amanda with a high-pitched tone] "'The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage', and it is the most dangerous feat ever known to man! Above average is average. Just because you find that life's not fair, it Matilda, you promised me you wouldn't go back in that house again. In other words, a pick-up line is an icebreaker or a conversation opener. RD.com. Maybe I shouldn't tell you any more. Trunchbull: