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"What we can learn from psychopaths like Joe," Neo says, "is that we need to have a lot better boundaries. And what's more, with the ubiquity of dating apps today, anyone can manufacture a great first impression. Although he knows better than to project his intentions to hurt or kill, he lures or sneaks up on his victims in order to more easily enact his brutal plans. They can act in Even though society thinks this ", They're masters of making "the right first impressions, creating this perception, weaving this little web in which they learn about you and stage their entrance into your life," says Neo. When we first meet Love Quinn in season two of You, we see a smitten Joe Goldberg who has yet again managed to over-romanticize life with a new victim. Why Netflix's You Is an Important Lesson in Psychology., Why Does Everyone like Joe Goldberg?" On top of that, he normalizes all his toxic characteristics, underlining that he does so in the name of love. Even though Joe, unsettlingly played by Penn Badgley, is fictional, his patterns of behavior toward the latest object of his desire come across as frighteningly realistic. Fredrick, C. (2020, August 17). Cynthia Vinney, PhD is an expert in media psychology and a published scholar whose work has been published in peer-reviewed psychology journals. Repression: Repression is an unconscious defense mechanism employed by the ego to . She was born and raised on Nantucket Island. You've done a fantastic job of describing each of the defense mechanisms. Joe even admits to experimenting with polyamory because he believes it will give him an excuse to go home. Eventually, Joe finds purpose in keeping Henry safe, and this endeavor becomes a main focus of his. named Joe Goldberg and the woman named Guinevere Beck. Joe is a pervert who doesnt have self control even a bit. "I always tell people: Pay attention when there's too much on the front end," Durvasula said. This article contains major spoilers for the first three seasons of the TV show, You, now streaming on Netflix. He was also portrayed by Gianni Ciardiello, Aidan Wallace and Jack Fisher as a youth. Psychopaths tend to be charming at an initial impression; this is why no one ever suspects Joe in either season, and both fans and characters believe that Joe is a likeable person while the people who are against his horrible deeds are viewed as the antagonists. It'll mean the world. Secondly, he was a serial killer, which took some real thinking. Although he seems like a nice guy there is something off about him; he has various personality traits where it seems like he is more than one person. Even though he is scared internally, he appears normal from outside because subconsciously he is confident and knows how to get away. Tell us you love Punkee without telling us you love Punkee. Womens Day 2023: Agar Tum Saath Ho, Aarya, Aranyak, Maharani & Other Must-Binge OTT Series To Celebrate Womens Resilience & Strength! In the private sector, as leader of Corporate Intelligence at Motorola, Joe received the Meritorious Award . Required fields are marked *. There is no doubt that Netflixs You series, which depicts the most toxic relationship youre likely to see on television today, is one of the most toxic. He loves to read their mind and even though he is wrong most of the times, Joe believes he knows women best. Retrieved on September 21, 2020 YOU [Video escape a horrible past from an old love he had to Los Angeles. Leiden, Luke. This is because he is so clear about his intentions that even when he is committing a serious crime, he is clean in his own mind. problems daily, especially regarding his narcissistic, antisocial, or serial killer ways. "You can do it in a non-physical way. Joe thinks it was he who . codependent due to his childhood. Berlanti, G., & Gamble, S. (Directors). So let You serve as a guidebook on what not to do in a new relationship. Yet, the series doesn't acknowledge this reality. self-defense to save himself and his mother from his father. 2020). He thinks about himself as a passionate lover and wants to take away all the problems from his girlfriends life even if it means killing her best friend. Instead, she told Joe that she was just pretending to flirt with Theo to get information from his dad. Over time, the you Joe obsesses over changes but his belief in true loveand what he has to do to ensure it happensnever does. If the whole show gave you a bad case of the creeps, Neo offered some additional advice. Realistically, if it wasnt for Joes help, Love wouldve been charged with Natalies murder in Episode 2. Joe seems to fall into a little of each Originally posted by gameofthronesdaily gentleman when you speak with him, who loves to take care of women. Plans out his murders, Just do has a cover story, & it is able to fully backtrack & cover everything up #YouNetflix #YOUSEASON3 pic.twitter.com/lXScPy2jHK. It can come out in parenting and using your child to meet your own needs in a way that is massively detrimental to your child's needs," like Goldberg's mother is seen doing in flashbacks during season 2. "The higher you are on the narcissistic spectrum, the less capable you are of changing," says Lev. After finding out that he is having a son, rather than a daughter like he had hoped, Joe becomes distraught. There is no definitive answer to this question as it is difficult to diagnose someone based on their behavior without knowing their thoughts and motivations. At the same time, more information offered in "You" season 2 suggests Goldberg may not have antisocial personality disorder, but an attachment disorder related to childhood trauma. Joe devalues his wife, Love, while also gaining his bosss affection in the shows latest season. Psychoanalysis of "You"'s Joe Goldberg. In the latest season, we watched Joe and Love move to the picturesque town of Madre Linda to raise their son, Henry. In the end, no matter how much he loves someone, it seems like he will always choose to save himself no matter what. Pastoral Psychology, 50 (1), 3952. Rejected stalkers want both revenge for the rejection and reconciliation with the person who rejected them, with their inclination toward both impulses changing on a regular basis. Speaking of the swingers night, Love wouldnt know how to be lowkey if her life depended on it and it did. Another reason why ASPD and psychopathy are often used interchangeably and continue to be so difficult to separate is that both are mainly studied in terms of their effect on society, as opposed to the impact they have on the person inflicted by them. (2001). some symptoms of being antisocial. Am J Psychiatry. Also, he has a sign of being an individual who can be very 2. Joe How did we get here? You're getting to know this person's weaknesses and their strengths and their needs and their desires. As a result, you may have found yourself wondering how accurate the series' depiction of stalking is. Joe love bombs his victims, and he makes himself your world.". When he becomes involved or thinks he becomes involved with Its worth paying close attention to what Joes sign indicates about his personality in either case. Often narcissists fly under the radar because they use their charm and wit to seem normal and unsuspecting. The Complexity of The Psychopathic Mind. The Complexity of the Psychopathic Mind | Danielle Rousseau, 1 Jan. 1967, sites.bu.edu/daniellerousseau/2018/12/18/the-complexity-of-the-psychopathic-mind/. However, some experts believe that Joe Goldberg from the Netflix series You may be a sociopath. ", According to Lev, "Stalking is seen in the full spectrum of narcissism." The initial tag of being a psychopath, though not wrong, doesnt tell the complete story. It also makes us a lot wiser in trusting our own gut and our own wisdom," she says. The goal of intimacy-seeking stalkers is to enter into a relationship with the person they're stalking, who they believe is meant to be with them. Both narcissistic and borderline individuals usually experience chronic instability in their personal Continue Reading 36 Sponsored by PureCare Knee Protector boundaries and relationality. narcissists partners frequently confuse fear with love and are willing to do anything to keep the peace. If you are an Aries, you may find Joe to be overly emotional. He is a serial killer, stalker and former bookstore manager who, upon meeting Guinevere Beck at his workplace in New York, starts to develop an extreme, toxic and delusional obsession. He falls in love with those women who he thinks need his help. So far, two seasons have been released, and the highly anticipated third season is coming out this October. Joe meets many relationship challenges in season three with his partner, Love In 1979, Lenore Walker developed the cycle of abuse theory in an attempt to explain an abusive relationships repeated events. But at least Joe was methodical and careful in his approach to murdering people. They can empathize with peoples problems and understand their emotions. It appears you entered an invalid email. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Predatory stalkers are planning to attack their victims and enjoy the sense of power the act of stalking gave them. Joe's fear of rejection and dissociation from his body (as manifested by compulsive masturbation, premature ejaculation, and impotence) are characteristic of borderline personality disorder. Trust your intuition, watch for the red flags, and, for God's sake, buy some curtains. "I know it seems fun and romantic, but it's probably a trainwreck waiting to happen.". He read people so well that any organization would benefit greatly from him. Goldberg shows signs of antisocial personality disorder, narcissism, and codependency in season 1. We know what he's doing is wrong, so why do we root for him? She has an extensive background in research, with 33 years of experience as a reference librarian and educator. According to Scott, a season 2 scene when Goldberg looks distraught after he learns his landlord Delilah has been killed proves that Goldberg does indeed have empathy and therefore doesn't have antisocial personality disorder. Jung sees personality as a whole person and what This is really well done, Justin. growing up, with a dysfunctional family. Ltd. All Rights Reserved, Ariana Grandes Film On Sweetener Tour Has Got Netflix & YouTube Into A Bidding War, Happy Birthday Meghan Markle! In fact, both Hatters Friedman and Lev point out that even though Joe may seem like he truly loves Beck, Love, or the other women he obsesses over, the show subtly demonstrates that, like a real-life malignant narcissist, he doesn't see these characters as human beings with strengths and weaknesses of their own. Joe seemingly suffers from ASPD, with hints of psychopathy that cause him to commit heinous crimes but remain charming nonetheless. But on the other, he is the man of your dreams. There are people willing to assist you in your time of need. In the story, Joe is an orphan, and he is ignored by his parents. Privacy Narcissism is often a protective mechanism that stems from abuse and feeling unimportant. And its pretty iconic. This is an accurate example of how psychopaths gaslight others. This has helped him cope with dealing with specific So far, two seasons have been released, and the highly anticipated third season is coming out this October. I am the author of three novels, and my poems and short stories have been published in various anthologies. Despite being fully aware that she had two guests upstairs one of whom literally ran the search party for Natalie Engler Love loudly screamed about how she murdered Natalie. violating other people in different ways. Still, many viewers seemed to believe he is a psychopath. Joe is a lonely and tech-savvy bookstore guy. And you're more able to control them and possess them.". All of these traits fit the criteria for someone with psychopathy. In the end, Natalie wasnt a threat to her family because Joe decided to not pursue the relationship, yet Love still murdered her. If you ask him, he is not doing anything wrong and thats why his face doesnt reflect his monstrous side. There are three types of killers: organized killers, medical killers, and disorganized killers. Furthermore, he enjoys reading classic literature, which can be viewed as self-care. "From a clinical perspective, the word 'psychopath' doesn't mean anything.". Strangership and Privilege in Netflix's You.. And when we hear a story, it releases oxytocin in our brainaka the bonding hormone. While You often accurately depicts stalking, it continues to perpetuate pop culture tropes that instill hope that Joe Goldberg will change in ways that aren't possible for a malignant narcissist in real life. Joe Goldberg is a fictional character in the TV series You played by Penn Badgley.. This was a way Mr. Mooney shows Joe his affection and, Some presenting issues Joe has would be having a narcissist personality with In season 2, however, flashbacks to Goldberg's past suggest he could actually be none of those and have an attachment disorder. Sarah Lynn is an ESTP personality type with both a feminine and masculine side. It can also be seen that Joes fear of abandonment leads him to possess anyone he becomes infatuated with out of a fear of unreciprocated feelings. Even though he is outright creepy, you cant really spot whats going on in his mind. Ever.". As Lev put it, "Hollywood wants the happy ending, and in reality, when women are in this relationship [with a malignant narcissist], they do not have a happy ending. the foster system for years, Joe had found a job at Mr. Mooney's bookstore. Lev cautions that despite the way it comes across in the series, "people with [narcissistic personality disorder], they don't really have much remorse and they don't really feel guilt. You can find even more stories on our Home page. Trauma isnt the primary cause of Joes antisocial and narcissistic tendencies, but it does play a big part in the development of such disorders and behaviors. Love (Victoria Pedretti) and Joe Goldberg (Penn Badgley) are both serial killers. At the same time, Scott said it's important to note that not all people with antisocial personality disorder or an attachment disorder will act violently. because he doesnt know how to form healthy relationships. Because . Sarah Regan mbg Spirituality & Relationships Editor As we get to know more of Joes past, other conditions that arise because of his troubled childhood begin to surface. In this article, I will explore existing psychological research on stalker behaviour and parallel these findings with Joe Goldberg's portrayal as one. it shows us a different perspective and puts us in the mind of a person with mental illness. Stalking: What to Do and How to Stay Safe, What's Not Realistic About Joe's Behavior in You, Behind the Keyboard: Spotting Digital Dating Abuse, The Role of Genetics in Narcissistic Personality Disorder, The Signs of Grandiose Narcissism and How to Deal With It, God Complex: What It Means and Why People Have Them, Understanding Bipolar Disorder and Narcissism. "You don't have to kill someone to get that diagnosis," Scott said. All rights reserved. Create your own unique website with customizable templates. Your email address will not be published. In fact, codependent individuals can sometimes define themselves based on their relationship, as opposed to having their own identity, which is something we see the protagonist do quite often. But in the end, he didnt. Joe's development of obsessions with different women often leads to violence due to his inability to create and maintain positive relationships, and he often resorts to violence when he feels as though he is being abandoned.